When Fiction Gives Women, What Society Often Denies Them: A Second Chance
Article written by Sobia Nasim. The writer is an MPhil Scholar and Researcher of Media Studies at GCU Lahore.
Pakistani television is finally beginning to portray women as complete human beings rather than symbols of family honour.
For generations, the woman on Pakistani television has often been asked to carry a burden far heavier than the men around her. Her character must remain spotless, her choices must be explained, her past must be defended and, above all, her “honour” must remain untouched. A man’s mistakes, meanwhile, are frequently treated as weaknesses, youthful errors or simply things that can be forgiven.
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This double standard is so deeply embedded in society that we sometimes stop noticing it.
That is why recent television narratives deserve attention not merely as entertainment, but as reflections of the conversations Pakistani society is slowly becoming willing to have.
Umera Ahmed’s recent drama Aap Ki Izzat offers an interesting starting point for such a conversation. Aap Ki Izzat, which stars Urwa Hocane and Ahsan Khan, centres on a marriage that has changed dramatically over fourteen years. Tabish, once a loving husband, becomes wealthy and increasingly distant from his wife Beena, eventually turning his attention towards another woman. The drama has already prompted discussion about marriage, patriarchy, emotional neglect and the different standards applied to men and women.
What makes such stories significant is not simply that they show a man behaving badly. Pakistani dramas have done that before. What matters is whether the woman is allowed to exist as a person outside the judgement imposed upon her.
And this brings us to a much larger question: Why does society so often forgive a man for a mistake while treating a woman’s mistake as a permanent definition of who she is?
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A woman can be someone’s daughter, sister, wife or mother, but society often forgets that before all these relationships, she is a human being.
She can make a wrong decision. She can trust the wrong person. She can fall in love. She can experience heartbreak. She can fail. She can regret something. She can change.
None of these things should make her less human.
A drama does not have to tell viewers that every decision a character makes is right. That would be an equally simplistic form of storytelling. The more meaningful message is that a wrong decision does not necessarily make a person worthless.
There is an important difference between accountability and condemnation.
A person should be able to face the consequences of a mistake without being stripped of dignity. A woman can be held responsible for her choices without being dehumanised because of them. Society can disagree with her decisions without deciding that she is no longer worthy of love. Here is the point when the idea of ‘Second Chance’ should discuss.
We readily understand the concept when the person asking for another chance is a man. He made a mistake. He was immature. He did not understand what he was doing. He has changed. He deserves forgiveness.
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But when the same language is applied to women, the conversation often changes completely. She should have known better.
She has brought shame on the family.
What will people say?
These questions reveal something uncomfortable: sometimes society is less interested in a woman’s wellbeing than in its own reputation.
The word izzat itself deserves examination. Respect should mean treating another human being with dignity. Yet in many social contexts, a woman’s behaviour becomes the vessel into which an entire family’s honour is poured. Her clothes, relationships, choices and sexuality become matters for collective surveillance.
Meanwhile, the men making those judgements are not always subjected to the same scrutiny.
Aap Ki Izzat is particularly interesting because its title itself invites us to reconsider what “honour” actually means. The drama places a woman’s emotional and personal dignity against a world in which her husband increasingly takes her presence for granted. Current commentary on the drama has highlighted precisely this tension: the gradual disappearance of a woman in her husband’s eyes and the social double standards surrounding marriage.
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Instead of asking “Did she make a mistake?”
Perhaps we should ask, “What do we believe a human being deserves after making one?”
There is also something significant about seeing these conversations take place in mainstream Pakistani television. Drama serials enter homes where academic discussions about patriarchy, gender inequality and sexual double standards may never reach. A fictional character can sometimes begin a conversation that a newspaper editorial cannot.
A mother watching a drama may begin to question why she would forgive her son’s behaviour but condemn her daughter’s.
A father may reconsider what he means when he says that the family’s honour depends on his daughter’s choices.
A young woman may see, perhaps for the first time, a character whose worth is not erased by the judgement of others.
And a young man may be forced to ask whether the standards he applies to women are standards he would accept for himself.
That does not mean television alone can change society. Nor should every new drama be celebrated simply because it raises a difficult subject. Pakistani television still has a long way to go. Women are often written through their relationships with men, and many stories continue to punish female characters more severely than male ones.
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But change in storytelling begins with something simple: allowing women to be complicated.
Allowing them to be imperfect.
Allowing them to make choices.
Allowing them to regret.
Allowing them to grow.
And, most importantly, allowing them to remain worthy of love and dignity after they have made a mistake.
A woman is not a family honour certificate.
She is a human being.
And if society genuinely believes in forgiveness, morality and redemption, then perhaps women deserve access to those ideas too.
That may ultimately be the most important second chance fiction can give us, not simply a second chance to its female characters, but a second chance to rethink the way we judge women in real life.
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Article written by Sobia Nasim. The writer is an MPhil Scholar and Researcher of Media Studies at GCU Lahore.
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